21 Sep

The Unfun Weekly Roundup is a new installment in which we discuss the shittiest news of the week. The term news is used loosely. Enjoy…or cringe – whichever you prefer.


Topless Tango: Photos of Kate Middleton’s ta-tas were published in French tabloid, the Closer. What I thought would be this week’s juiciest story was actually quite underwhelming. Instead of letting loose atop a bar à la Coyote Ugly, I peeked at these “NSFW” photos to find a pixelated princess sunbathing with her hubby…snooze. So she couldn’t block the flash of the paparazzi – at least she blocked out those damaging UV rays.


Trends, Trends, Trends: New York Fashion Week came to a close last Thursday and now the internet is abuzz with trend reports. The good news is – leather and lace trends are here to stay. Hemlines are getting a bit longer, denim is once again making its way out of the pants zone, and bold stripes seemed to take center stage. The bad news – you’re probably still going to run into girls wearing leggings and Uggs in public this Fall.


Hitting a Low Note: American Idol recently announced its panel of judges for the shows upcoming season. Randy Jackson will be joined alongside (dull drumroll, please) Mariah Carey, Nicki Minaj, and Keith Urban. The fact that Nicki Minaj has enough personalities to fill an entire panel on her own is neither here nor there. Now that we know our beloved Britney can from a coherent sentence, The X Factor is sure to rule the singing competition circuit.


Orange you Glad: Oreo’s new Candy Corn flavored cookies recently hit the shelves in anticipation of Halloween. To put it nicely…this idea is the worst. Nabisco may have been trying to reel us in with some sort of nostalgia, but the only memory I have is dumping those tri-color kernels into the trash, because Mom says unwrapped candy might be tainted. Not that I would have devoured them anyway, as their flavor profile is similar to that of a semi-soft Yankee Candle.


No Hablo Paltrow: In a recent interview Gwyneth Paltrow said she only allows her children to watch television in French or Spanish…because naming one of them Apple wasn’t unfun enough. It’s a shame these kids can’t even catch a cartoon without having to worry about proper verb conjugation. Maybe she’ll make an exception for TLC’s new show, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo – after all, there are subtitles.

Have a headline you’ve been dying to rant about? Leave it in the comments section below…We’re all in this together.


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