TUF Love Vol. 003 [love stinks]

13 Apr

Dear UnFun Friend,

I write you with somewhat of an embarrassing question… I have a six year old Siberian Husky named Kelley. She is a great dog, but as she gets up there in doggie years, she’s having a harder time “controlling” herself. Her accidents often leave my carpets soiled, unfortunately emitting a foul odor. This is a frequent nuisance that always leaves my family’s olfactory systems offended. Do you have any tips on how to neutralize or cover up stinky odors? I’d love to deter my guests from Kelley’s smell and hopefully you have some noninvasive suggestions! Thanks for all of your help!

Warm regards,


Hello there Celeste,

What an eloquently written inquiry. For such a shitty topic, you certainly have a way with words. Something tells me you would be a hit at the most unfun of activities – a poetry slam. But – back to the task at hand…Your house wreaks, your hubby’s lost his appetite, and your BFFs are no longer receptive to the idea of you hosting 90’s Trivia Night at your place. I get it.

I’m no expert in veterinary medicine, so I’m not sure what’s happening on your pooch’s part. However, I admire your continued commitment to Kelley, and would love to provide some solutions for your less than ideal scent situation.

Home Fragrance DO's

Home Fragrance Do

Soy Candles: I had an old co-worker who swore by soy candles, as they were gentler on her pet bird. Turns out soy candles are in fact safer for the environment and burn without producing unsightly soot. Fragrant, canine-friendly, and aesthetically pleasing – what more could you ask for? I think PETA would be proud.

Reed Diffusers: These are my favorite, and I consider them to be most versatile. The best part is you can transfer your scented oils from their generic containers into vintage glass bottles. Snap a quick photo and share your interior design expertise on the web. Imagine all the Pinterest likes you’re going to get!

Cinnamon and Orange Simmer: Simmering cinnamon sticks and orange slices in a pot of water on your stove is said to emit a wonderful aroma throughout your home. Sure it’s not the easiest remedy, but I guarantee your guests will be in awe of your Martha Stewart-esque tendencies. The future of trivia night has never looked so bright.

Home Fragrance DONT's

Home Fragrance

Potpourri: I often question the popularity of potpourri, and the fact that almost all varieties feature dried eucalyptus. The only thing worse than a bowl of dried lemon zest on your dining room table, is a lavender satchel in your underwear drawer. Furthermore, I fear that your children may confuse it for some sort of exotic party mix.

Tart Warmers: While these look delightful, I’m not sure that inserting an open flame into your equation is the smartest decision.

Candles resembling Baked Goods: One particular option is the “skillet” candle, by Paula Deen, which looks and smells just like berry cobbler. It is eerily lifelike, and should be avoided at all costs. I think I gained three pounds just by ingesting its fumes.

Last Minute Advice: When all else fails, there’s always doggie diapers.


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